All things will eventually come to an end. Sometimes things end well, and sometimes they do not. Sometimes we choose to end and sometimes the ending is someone else’s choice. Sometimes we resist letting go and hang on too long. And sometimes we stay stuck in indecision and can't move on.

Let's take a look at each of these:

• How do we end something well?
• How do we handle an unwanted ending?
• How can we let go with grace?

There is a type of ending currently referred to as “ghosting”. It is an excellent example of how not to end something. In ghosting the person who has chosen to end the relationship simply drops “off the map” and discontinues all communication with the other person(s). I am not into social media much, so I don't understand all the details, but essentially the person ends the relationship suddenly and without warning and disappears from all the ways they had previously been accessible just days or moments prior. They “ghost” themselves. They don't say goodbye, and they do not offer the other person any explanation or chance to say goodbye. To say this is a bad ending is an understatement. It is thoughtless, selfish, and cruel.

To end well requires kindness and planning. Have a clear plan of what to say, how to say it, and be prepared to give a thoughtful reason. Be considerate of the other person’s feelings. They may be equally ready to end the relationship, or they may not be. Maybe you are in agreement about ending the relationship, but maybe you are not. Always approach the conversation gently. Yes, it needs to be a face to face, voice to voice conversation. If that is not possible. Do the next best thing. A “goodbye” text is not good. Think of how you would like to be treated. Do not allow the person to talk you out of your decision. It is not kind to them nor to you. Always say what you mean kindly and mean what you say.

If someone ends a relationship with you, how do you handle it? Do you pout and argue? Do you shame and blame? Do you resist and say mean things? Do you try to talk them out of it? Do you try to guard your pride by lying and saying that you want to break up too? I suggest that you say as little as possible until you've had a chance to think it through. Just accept what you have heard and thank them for telling you. It is hard, but you will get through it with your dignity intact. You could ask clarification questions if you need to, but once they have told you that they want to end the relationship, there’s not much else to say. It would be of no benefit to either of you to try talking them out of it.

Letting go is hard, but hanging on too long is not good and just makes it harder. It is always best to make hard decisions for yourself rather than waiting for someone else to make them for you.

Blessings to you and your family in 2024,

Elsie