It is important in counseling to help clients understand the relationship between events and issues. Events are things that happen in life. Some are good and some are bad and some are neutral. Some make us happy. Some cause us sadness or fear. Some trigger anger. Sometimes seemingly insignificant or minor events trigger a disproportionate amount of anger. Events are just things that happen. Issues are filled with emotional impact and are often triggered by events. If you ever notice that an event causes a significant emotional reaction in yourself or someone else, that event has probably triggered an unresolved issue.

Most couples are not intentional about resolving issues once the anger has subsided. They may or may not apologize for ...

We live in anxious times. Threats of the Islamic State of Iran and Syria (ISIS) and their allies (Boko Haran, Al Qaeda), the rollercoaster stock market, the languishing economy, the rising cost of healthcare, the fear of unemployment, the nightly reports of violent crime in our neighborhoods, and the surge in clinically-diagnosed depression combine to produce palpable anxiety in even the most even-keeled person. We need help! How can we stay calm, tranquil, and at peace in the midst of the storms swirling around us all the time? The answer isn’t found in alcohol or Valium. God is the Answer!

God speaks words of comfort to us and gives us His prescription for anxiety in Philippians 4:6, 7. Listen to what He says, “Do not be ...

Are we nice or are we kind? President Barry Corey of Biola University, a Christian university in Southern California, addresses that very issue in his book, Love Kindness. So what’s the difference between niceness and kindness? Corey describes “fierce kindness” and “cosmetic . . . bland niceness.” He says, “Niceness is keeping an employee in the job, knowing he’s no longer the right fit but failing him and the company because you don’t have the courage to do the right thing. Kindness calls you to tell him he’s not the person for the position and then dignify him in the transition.” Have you ever known that to happen? I have seen both.

Do we practice superficial niceness instead of...