March 1, 2020 @ 8:00 AM

Should you trust him? Should you trust her? In relationships, trust is critical. To know that your partner is trustworthy is essential to true intimacy. How can you be intimate with someone you can’t trust? You can’t. One of the country’s leading authorities on marriage and relationships is Dr. John Gottman. Founder of The Gottman Institute, John and his wife,  Julie Gottman, have been studying marriages from a research standpoint at the University of Washington (Seattle, WA) for the past 40 years. Here are 5 criteria John Gottman says are keys to trust in dating, marriage, business, or family:

  1. Honesty
    • Do not trust someone who lies to you.
    • Don’t come up with excuses for why they lied, or talk ...
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March 1, 2020 @ 8:00 AM

If you are familiar with the subject of Emotional Intelligence (EI), you know that it involves four skill areas. These areas are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. The first two skill areas pertain to personal competence and the ability to have insight into who we are and why we react and respond the way we do. The second two areas pertain to social competence and the ability to have insight into other people and how other people react and respond to us. Personal competence is about ego strength while social competence is about empathy for others. A balance of ego and empathy is mentally healthy. Arrogant people overvalue themselves and are less likely to be empathetic. Less confident people...

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March 1, 2020 @ 8:00 AM

Perhaps you’ve heard the expression, “dissing.” It’s slang for disrespecting someone. Everyone wants to be respected. We want to be respected as people and we want our ideas and words to be respected as well. When we are not shown that respect we feel slighted and grow angry at the one who “dissed” us. Besides disrespect, there are six other disses which can trigger anger in us.

  1. Dismissive—Dismissive often goes hand-in-hand with disrespect. When we are dismissive we wave someone off as not worth our time or words. We dismiss them as unworthy. To be dismissed is to attack our sense of self-worth and when that happens we grow angry.
  2. Disobey—Every parent understands this one. When our ...
  3. ...

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March 1, 2020 @ 8:00 AM

“Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Is that old child’s adage true? Can words never hurt us? You know they can. Words can wound our souls and leave scars that often last a lifetime. The Bible says, “With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous will be delivered” (Proverbs 11:9) and “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). The bottom line is words, like stones, can wound, hurt, and even destroy. So what is the opposite? What are words which heal, edify, and nurture? Here are 7 healing phrases to use with your spouse, friend, or child:

1.      “I ......

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