At Hopewell Counseling, Dr. Irv and I use the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis personality assessment to help clients gain personal insight. One of the nine common personality traits assessed is Dominant vs. Submissive. A healthy personality scores moderately high on dominance without being extreme. Submissive in the context of the TJTA means passive, compliant, and dependent. It does not refer to Biblical submission which is a proactive, intelligent choice to place oneself under the authority of a competent and benevolent leader. A dominant person takes appropriate responsibility for themselves and others who are under their legitimate authority without being bossy and abusive. The passive, doormat type of submission doesn’t take ...

God loves relationships. He is in a relationship within the Godhead. He created Adam and Eve to be in a relationship with Him as well as with one another. He wants a relationship with you and me. What stands in the way? Our sin. Until our sin is dealt with we cannot have a relationship with God. We need a savior, a sin-bearer, someone to atone for our sin. That’s where Jesus Christ comes in. He is the sin-bearer, the only way to have a relationship with God. If we would have a relationship with God we must come through Jesus Christ. 

God loves relationships. Next to this article is a diagram of family relationships. It is in the form of concentric circles of relationships. Let me explain it. At the center, the bullseye of the ...

All of us get angry at times and rightly so. Anger is woven into our emotional makeup. We are made in the image of God (imago dei) and God gets angry. He is a wrathful God. The problem is that His anger is always righteous being directed at sin and unrighteousness. Our anger is seldom righteous or godly. We become angry when our goals are frustrated, when someone fails or disappoints us, when we feel wronged or experience a perceived injustice, or when we don’t get our way. Anger is not the problem. Our motive and attitudes are. As a side note, you aren’t angry because you inherited a short fuse from one of your parents or because of your nationality (Polish, Irish, Italian, etc.). You make the choice to become angry.

Anger can...

Why was Jesus born? Most of us would answer that He was born to die. That is true. He was born to die. He was born to be the perfect sin sacrifice for sinners. He did not come to die by happenstance or accident. He came in the “fullness of time” (Galatians 4:4). He came at the Father’s behest and according to His eternal timetable.

In what way was Jesus born in the fullness of time? Here are some thoughts. The Bible prophesied that the Messiah would die by crucifixion (Psalm 22:16, Zechariah 12:10). Crucifixion was the Roman’s primary mode of execution for those judged guilty and condemned to death. The Romans crucified the guilty; Jews did not. Jews stoned those condemned to death. Jesus was born during the Roman ...

I don’t usually think of commitment and romance in conjunction with each other. First comes romance and then comes commitment (or not), right?  Romance is the fun part of getting to know a potential spouse and commitment is the serious part. What if we thought about commitment from the start? It might ultimately save some time and heartache. And what if romance remained after commitment?

That new love feeling is euphoric! It is the essence of teen age love or what has been called “puppy love.” We can probably remember the excitement of our first high school romance. Hearing a certain song from high school days can instantly send us back in time. Puppy love is named that for a reason. It is a sign of young love as ...

All of us have opinions. We have opinions about politics, about food, about television programs, about other people, about our church, about ourselves. We base those opinions on our personal likes and dislikes. If we drill down a bit deeper, our opinions are shaped by the values which we hold. As Christians, we base our values on the Bible. What does God’s Word say about a particular issue? That is our value. The world has its set of values too. They are based on the value system informed by Satan. The world’s values serve Satan’s agenda and are the opposite of God’s values.

How do values relate to opinions? If we value older hymns and consider them the stuff of “real worship” we will have a definite ...

Of the 48 times in the Bible in which we are called to “give thanks,” all 48 tell us God is to be the One we thank. That doesn’t mean that we should never say thanks to people. Paul certainly gave thanks to the Philippian Church for their support of him. The priority, however, is giving thanks to God.

Why does He need to be the priority for our thanksgiving? Here are a few good reasons: God has given us our very lives. We would not be alive were it not for Him. We are forgiven of all our sins through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. We are born again as a direct result of His choosing and calling. It is a gift of God. Every good thing we have in this life, houses, cars, spouses, children, jobs, finances, love, hope comes ...

Is there a point when outpatient counseling is not the most effective treatment for sexual addiction? Yes. Here are four reasons: a) Change of environment. The client is better served through inpatient therapy when his living environment or other external factors are contributing to his addiction. b) Increased accountability. Inpatient residential therapy is called for when the client would benefit from daily accountability and counseling. c) Distraction-free. Residential therapy can expedite the treatment process by permitting the client to focus on healing without the other distractions in his life. d) Specialized expertise. Finding counselors who specialize in sexual addiction is challenging. Most counselors are generalists who counsel ...

In Matthew 19:5, 6 Jesus says, “…for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” I want to focus on the phrase, “the two shall become one flesh.” This phrase is at the heart of marriage. Marriage is a merging of two lives into one new life. This is not enmeshment in which the two lives form one indistinguishable blob nor is it disengagement in which the two lives are independent of one another. This is interdependence. Though capable of independence, the two choose to be together. This is intimacy, the two becoming one.

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