People come for counseling often because they are struggling with a pattern of negative behaviors. They say they want to change but have difficulty doing so. Sometimes it is the strong grip of a bad habit and sometimes the habit has been tolerated and become a full blown addiction. The cycle is: sin-confess-repent-repeat. So how can the cycle be broken?

According to Oswald Chambers, “The battle is lost or won in the secret places of the will before God, never first in the external world. The Spirit of God apprehends me and I am obliged to get alone with God and fight the battle out before Him. Until that is done, I lose every time.” (My Utmost for His Highest, Classic Edition, December 27)

Breaking the cycle and winning the ...

In the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) is gifted with a huge suitcase from Mr. Gower so George can travel and “see the world.” Like George, whenever you or I take a trip we pack our clothes and toiletries in suitcases. When we return from our trip our suitcases are full of dirty laundry which must then be washed. Whether you call them suitcases or baggage, we all have them and use them whenever we go somewhere for more than a night.

There’s another use of the term baggage when applied to relationships. When two people marry they bring their emotional baggage with them into the relationship. Emotional baggage comes from our past, i.e things experienced in our families-of-...

When Elsie and I were first married, I expected to handle the finances, after all, my father handled them for our family when I was growing up. The problem was that I wasn’t good at it. One day in prayer I was complaining to the Lord about the bills. The Lord said to me in His inner voice, ”Hey, I gave you a banker for a wife. Ask for her help.” I humbled myself and asked Elsie for her help in paying the bills. I have never regretted that decision.

Everyone has expectations. Expectations are ways we anticipate people or ourselves will behave or respond. Whether we are aware of them or not, we all have them. Where do expectations come from and how do they often hurt relationships? A primary source for our expectations is ...